I miss you and can’t help but wish I had said goodbye to you better. I think part of me saw the toll cancer was taking on your body and couldn’t handle that I was already losing you. What a beautiful stain your life left on mine – I’m not sure any single person has had a larger impact on who I am and what I value. I’m still not ready to say goodbye. I’m pretty sure I’ll carry you with me forever.
Anyways, someone that means a lot to us gave me this bottle of wine. I waited a year to open it, because it seemed like the kind of moody, somber thing you would’ve done. It only seems fitting that this would be the first time I broke the cork and got it stuck in the neck. Nonetheless, I’ve spent the night retracing the impact you’ve had in my life.
Of all the years, what I wouldn’t have given for you to see this one. I’m in a city that has pieces of you all over. I don’t waste as much energy wavering, second-guessing myself, or appeasing people. I’m putting my heart into my music again, and I’m making art that means something to me. You would have loved what I’m doing and cheered me on. Most importantly, I see so much of you in the kind of friend and sister and leader I am. I think you would have noticed that and been nothing but proud.
There’s so much more I want to say to you and about you. I feel like I lost so much more than a mentor — you know full well the friend and father figure you were in my life. You were so intentional with the support you offered me over the years. I hope I carry that legacy well and continue to see myself how you saw me – full of promise and potential. I see this whole world differently because of you.
